Are Children an Excuse...Touchy Touch I Know

Our little Booty!

      Everyone has their own priorities and I understand that, but my opinion on this is, don't use your kids as an excuse on why you cant get something done, why you cant be healthy and why you cant achieve your own goals. Instead teach your kids, learn and grow with them, show them how to be strong independent kids and to grow up to reach their own goals.

      As I have come to realize there are many things that change when you have kids and although I'm no pro, as I only have one child, I would like to think that my life experiences give me some in site on this topic that some of you may not realize but thats something not needed to get into at the moment. A few things that I see and notice, people complaining no time for friends, effort in other aspects of life, health, fitness and so much more. I wanted to address a few of those today and why your kids should not be an excuses to not do things or to say no to the things you want to do.

      Our priorities as parents are different for everyone and it may seem like you are  saying no to your goals, time with friend's, special time with your spouse,  or many other things. Yes this will happen from time to time because family and children should come 1st but why not involve them in the things you always decline? Everyday things and weekend fun will slow down but dosent need to come to a halt. After Tesla was born we were home for a week or so alone to adjust and get on a schedule, after that life was back to our new normal. I took Tesla with me everywhere I needed to go, grocery shop, friends, the gym, house cleaning, had friends over for weekend games, hiked and so on. He has learned to fall asleep without complete silence, he goes with the flow in every situation, when I clean the house we play music and I sing and dance to him while doing it so we are still interacting, if I can't make it to they gym for my cardio... Well then we gear up and do sprints with the stroller. While I cook for Chris and I....I cook for him to and we play with his dishes like they r drums and jam to music. We just went to a NFL game to see the Titans play and took him with us...I truly believe the more you do with the children the more they enjoy the same things, are more easy going to change and are not as fussy in different situations. Even tho Tesla does all this stuff with us, we still have normal play time, he still gets his naps everyday, goes to bed at night and wakes up normal time in the morning, doesn't take a passifier to nap or to sooth, he is always happy, friendly and an all around good baby. Yes he has his moments like every baby but they are few and far between and I really believe his attitude and behavior have a lot to do with how we are on a daily basis. If we were to shelter him, keep it silent in the house, never do things with friends and live different then the way we do then I feel he would have a hard time with change, would need certain things to sooth for bed, would be shy around people he don't know and would not handle other situations well. Remember again this is just my opinion. 

Daddy and Mr. Booty!

      I have noticed (I'm guilty of it as well) that we tend to lose focus on things that were once important to us. Things that we enjoyed and maybe we chose to give up or just forget to do once children come. Example: Effort in our home, in our appearance, in our love life, and our friends.

      Effort in our home, When we have children we tend to let a lot of things go, and while this is bound to happen it does not need to become habit. The first few weeks Tesla was home our home was a disaster, nothing got done, we were to tired and I was recovering from a C-Section. After we got back into the daily grind we started to go back to normal. I knew when T would sleep and while I wanted to, laundry couldn't wait any more, dishes were needed, the floors looked bad, so I found my groove and made an effort each day to tidy things up, do more laundry and make healthy food choices and before I knew it BAM everything was getting done, I was sleeping more and Tesla was being cared for all at the same time. I made a choice to remember the way we lived before, wanted a clean home for T, Chris and I and made it happen! Living is clutter is different then living in filth and if you make it a point to take 2 seconds to put an item away when your done then doing your cleaning will take much less time.

      Effort in you appearance, trying to take the time to get ready is nearly impossible when you have kids but can be done! If you don't care when then….you don't care, but taking a second to put yourself together even if its just a quick fresh pony and some lip stick can make a hugh difference on how you feel about yourself and will help with the next topic I talk about (love life). Taking 10 min to quick brush your teeth, wash your face and spruce up your appearance will make you feel better, will show you spouse you still want to be attractive to them and that you care about yourself. Its not selfish to want to take 10 to 15 min to make you feel attractive, I think its a healthy way to keep your self esteem up.

      Effort in your love life, this goes hand in hand with the above topic (effort in your love life). When you feel attractive, you feel sexy, when you feel sexy, your spouse desires you and although it may never seem like a good time you need to keep that fire going! You need to remember why you fell in love, you need to keep dating your spouse and take that time for each other. sometimes all it takes in just 15 mins to have a good heart to heart to let them know your still thinking of them. Make a date night each month, even if its just at home. Put your cell phones down, rent a movie, play a game, have a glass of wine, spend the night in the bedroom, what ever you feel you need to do to keep your passion for one another there. We lose focus on that when kids are in the mix and when its lost its hard to get that back.

      Effort with our friends, again something we lose track of when children come into our lives. It will happen, many people understand that and know when you have time you will see them. however making it a habit to always say no is a good way to lose a friend, to lose your social life and to make you less happy. There is no reason you can't go to the park, a sports venue, camping, card night, BBQ, ETC with your child if your invited. Pack it all up and go! It will teach the children to be social beings, teach them different activities in life, teach them to be comfortable in different situations and i think be better with other people and not so clingy:). 

      Remember it is ok to say "no not right now", or "maybe another day", but making that a habit I feel is very unhealthy to you, your family and your happiness. We all tend to lose site of the whole picture and focus so much on the child that everything gets swept under the rug, and to be honest while that is most important,

Isn't the whole picture of life, happiness, teaching your child and love just as important?